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We generally have always been perhaps perhaps not an admirer of rules-based relationships, especially in polyamory. I’ve discovered, throughout each of my relationships, which they have a tendency to work well you should definitely governed with a codex of laws that could produce a bureaucrat blush.
Frequently, once I state that, people can look at me personally as if i have sprouted a additional head. “just how can you’ve got a relationship without guidelines?” I have been expected by poly people. “after all, certain, that is all well and good in the event that you just want anarchy, with individuals playing around doing whatever they desire without any dedication, you can not build genuine relationships by doing this!”
That is a bit of a head-scratcher if you ask me, since it seems quite a bit such as for instance a monogamous individual telling a poly individual “just how can you’ve got a relationship without monogamy? After all, certain, which is all well and good they want with no commitment, but you can’t build real relationships that way! if you just want anarchy, with people running around shagging whoever”
It is an ordinary peoples thing, i guess, to look at globe in polar terms: then that means promiscuity and indiscriminate shagging; if there are no rules, then that means anarchy and chaos if there is no monogamy. But that’sn’t actually the situation.
just What can you suggest, that’s not truly the instance?
Rules are exactly how we put down boundaries. Without guidelines, you’ll find nothing to help keep folks from stomping all over us! Continue reading